OutOfMind

It's not all chaos over here. Let me not ruin your expectations. It's merry, to be honest. I wouldn't want to put my focus more on the bad than good. Cause the good is a lot. The rides you can't forget. That's when every song is about you, every food you taste confuses you, ever path you step is all for you. It doesn't matter if the world's prying, waiting to pounce on you... You just have to enjoy the moment while it lasts. You'll day dream about trips, walks, adventures and have so much planned for you. It's beautiful, I know. Thinking about your present and future. Reliving the moments you couldn't have had with the past. You get caught up in the moment. These good rides are like waves though, there comes a time when the sea is so calm that you'd think you're in heaven. You'll enjoy the beautiful tides, the scotching sun with the clear sky. Then comes the bad rides. You'll have to make it through the day quiet, thinking hard of...

  You ever wondered how you’d survive without a certain part of your body? How malfunctioned you’d be when you lost it? How dead the surrounding parts feel after losing their dependent factor? Have you ever thought, “Oh wait, am gonna die after this, it’s my fucking end?!” But what if the loose of this certain body part is a way to open your mind. Yes, you’re hurt, yes there are damages done, but think of it this way: it being the key to set you free from whatever that's holding you back. You’ll feel the pain for a while, but that won’t stop you from stitching up and keeping germs off your wound. You’ll have to find a way to fix it and look strong while doing so. You’ll be mad at your recklessness or at the world for turning, but you’ll never have that part back so why not embrace that part of you?... Living with it, your new normal: how your whole body accepts the fact that even after losing this one part, it’ll still find a way to function. You’ll heal. You’ll move on...

It's not your first time to feel this way. To get high on something. To feel so good that you'd come back for more. Cause you can't help but get addicted. You fell the first time, didn't work, but you still try because you are afraid to be alone, you're afraid of not being wanted, you're afraid of not having someone to run to. So you go for it. All in. It's the first year that has you all dancing and full of charm and glory. You'll feel at home. You'll let each other get comfortable. That's how it all starts. That slight rush. You'll be blinded by the flaws and think that you might help changing them within time. You'll be so dumbstruck that any word said you agree to. That's when you loose yourself. That's when you let the devil in. That slight rush becomes a mole on your skin. You'll try to settle without thinking otherwise. You'll do stuff without minding your own wellbeing. You'll have so many good mome...